Doing so will tear down a brick wall that guards and protects me and replace it with a wall of glass so that anyone who wishes can see inside.
It flings open a Pandora's box I have diligently kept padlocked for decades. I'm typing it now, still not sure I have the courage to execute the click that will share it with the world. It will likely sit here for weeks, unpublished, before I get the nerve....if I get the nerve....
Recently, I read someone else's blog post and had myself an epiphany. It was like looking in a mirror, like someone had figured me out and decided to write about it. It also pointed out that keeping things concealed only prevented people from understanding one another, which inhibits LOVE. And since Love is the focus of my own blog......
I am like Julius Caesar standing at the edge of the Rubicon, debating whether to set foot on that bridge and risk what may come for the sake of what I hope it will accomplish.
I sound dramatic.
But know this, friend: Exposing myself in this way is extraordinarily frightening for me.
I fear your harsh judgments, your stinging comments that social media makes it so easy to throw at another person. I am more vulnerable than my personality makes me seem, be assured.
I fear the label you may attach to me. I fear the condescending air you may have with me once you know.
Except I fear even more that my behavior has sometimes confused people I love, and it may be worth the risk just for you to understand.
I fear that some of you haven't known what to make of it when I withdraw and become very distant, especially if we are family or if you thought we were close friends. (We probably are.)
I fear many things.
But Love can conquer fear, and Love is the Song I want my life to sing.
So I'm unlocking the box, and crossing that bridge over the Rubicon, although I do so trembling.
If you know me personally (and maybe even if you don't,) please click on this link and read. It will introduce you to a part of me you probably don't know, and it will help to explain the part of me you do know.
I have never cut or physically harmed myself in any way, nor will I. Other than that, here I am:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lexi-herrick/11-habits-of-people-with-_b_6384062.html
